Reminiscent of third year high.......

I was ummm sorting through some of my stuff last night and I came across an old notebook of mine. It was a green filler with so much grafiti inside. There were no notes, no equations, just a bunch of signs and symbols...... until the last few pages where I found a few entries..... here's one of them......

"Once I fell in love with a girl and she fell in love with me. Months passed and time went by and I just wished that every moment would last an eternity. But fate would not have it. Weeks passed and I still loved her but something changed, I no longer knew if she still felt the same way about me. Everything was different again. I felt empty and the void inside me had come back, only this time it was twice as large. She had taken with her a huge part of me and I could never take that back. That's when i realized, I truly loved her but such things are meant to last. Happiness is superficial and like any other thing it fades away leaving but painful memories..."

Can you imagine how I felt back then? Sure it may sound emo but back then was there even such a thing? Can you imagine how it feels to love and not be loved back, to lose something you held so dearly because you were left with no choice. I became bitter after that.... Always writing so sad, keeping everything to myself. I fell in love once or twice more but it wasn't really love. I tended to them and cared for them only so that they could find what they were really looking for. Up till a few months ago that was how I live and up till weeks ago I didn't want to admit I was falling in love again..... But it doesn't matter now because I already am. And it may sound cliche to say but it doesn't matter how things end. What matters is now the memories that will be, I'd give everything for these moments to last forever and if they don't then I'd be glad they hapened anyway.... Life is too short to be regretting....

Hahahahaha so emo..... thought lang sumaksak sa utak ko yan kahapon. Ba't naman kasi kailangan makita ko pa ang notebook na yun. Hahaha! (hmmmm kung nababasa mo to seryoso talaga ako sa sinabi ko) :) Ciao!

Gising na, harapin ang umagang maganda....

No more hiding...

The name of the game is "If I ask would you say yes?"

If I ask what you want you'd say "kaw na bahala" or "kahit ano"
If I asked if you'd like drinks you'd say no
If I asked if you'd like anything else you'd say no
If I asked you a question you'd set it aside
If I asked you to go with me you'd say "pwede bang kasama siya?"

I don't mind
It's just that it gives me a hard time trying to speak
It gives me a hard time trying to say what I've long wanted to say
Because suddenly I am conscious and things run through my mind
And then time passes by and I realize I let my chance slip away again

So forgive me if I just blurt it out
Just say it out loud
Forgive me because I can't find the right time or place
So forgive me if one day I'll just hold your hand
and say I love you Liz....

You should know by now...

"You should know by now"

You ought to know by now
Love is the look in my eye
Lovin’ the way you smile when I say
“I wish you would stay”
You bring out all the youth in me
I laugh and cry out all the truth in me
Out of love
You should know by now

Haven’t you felt by now
Just what it’s like to be loved
Knowin’ that certain touch when you’re sure
Time won’t give you more
You bring out all the best in me
I wanna hold you till you feel t he need somehow
You should know

That if I could just find the words
I wouldn’t be left so lonely
I’m your one and only
Then I’d show you how

Every move as smooth as silk
Say you will
Baby, say you will

Hasn’t it crossed your mind
Haven’t you known all this time
Honestly tell me now, has it shown
How much love has grown
The way I tremble at the sight of you
I wanna learn to love you through and through
This I’ll beg
You should know by now

You should know by now…
You should know… by now…
You should know I love you
You should know by now

And off to my class I go.... Ciao! :)
(It's weird, I just saw you yesterday but I miss you! hahahaha!)

Wanted: wallet ni Lutz

WAAAAAAAA! Umaga na po ng sabado at hindi pa ako natutulog. May training pa kami mamayang 7:30 a.m. at hindi pa ako nagpapahinga. Karamihan ng nangyari ngayong araw, walang kwenta! (Hi!........ hello!.................. bye! SHUTDOWN!!! lutz you noobcake!) Ano pa ba, ummmm dalawang beses nag fatal error ang aking pc habang naglalaro kanina at take note, sa crucial parts pa ng game, bad trip! Last but not least umuwi ako only to find out na nawala ang wallet ko!!!! Waaaaaaa!!!! Haaaaaaayyyyyy..... wala namang nawalang pera sa akin e, well aside from the 50 pesos na lucky money sa wallet ko........ Kaso may mga ibang importanteng bagay sa akin dun..... yung wrapper ng gift mo noong christmas(yes tinago ko po ang wrapper) at yung card ng cake nung valentines(tinago ko rin po yun) mga simpleng bagay lang pero sobrang importante sa akin.... kaya nakakainis dahil hindi naman mapagkakakitaan yun e..... sa akin lang may value yun ba't kailangan pa mawala! sigh*........ Aside from that... well actually yun lang yun kaya hindi ako makatulog....

(inhale...exhale) Ayan pwede na akong magkwento, kanina naglagay ako ng picture ng babae sa lamesa ko sa econ. Nag-ukit ako ng picture ng babae sa table ko tapos sa tabi may bulaklak at mariposa. Tapos nilagyan ko ng summer 06-07 na label. Tapos nun nag internet ako sa lab gumawa ng report at lumabas para kumain sa Inengs. After that chinese class, dismissal, faura, lc and finally home kung nasaan ako ngayon nagmumukmok. haaaay buhay, ang daming complexities, d nalang pwedeng simple lahat kailan pa na masakit ang ulo sa kakaisip.

hmmm gagawa siguro ako ng bagong blog, kaso puro writings lang ang laman. Stories, poems, quotes and the like. hehehehe... hmmm I think I'll do that now... hahaha! Ciao! mwah! :)

#1 Bolero ie: mandirigma ng pag-ibig

A few days ago nakachat ko siya[kita]. Sabi niya[mo] sa akin number one bolero talaga ako. Naalala ko tuloy nung highschool ako, sabi sakin ng mga kaibigan ko mandirigma ng pag-ibig, ang kulit talaga nakakatawa. Mahilig kasi akong magsulat at most of the time tunkol sa "love". Nagagawa ko na sumulat hanggang sa masakit na ang ulo ko at nararamdaman ko na ang sinusulat ko. Nasabihan pa nga ako na "I had a way with words" pero yun lang yun. Madali lang talaga magsulat para sa akin, even easier kaysa sabihin. Madalas nakukuha ko ang gustong sabihin ng tao, ang gusto kong sabihin, naisusulat ko para maintindihan ng iba. Pero dahil nakasulat na at nagmukha ng tula nagiging keso na, samantalang totoo namang yun ang nararamdaman.


[So what's the point? The point is, I can write. I can write all I want but maybe it will always just come off as "pambobola" to you, but its true. People can laugh and say cheesy but I know it's the way I feel about you. I can't say it because it's too cheesy and you just might laugh me off but I feel that way.

Sometimes I just don't come close because becuase I want you to have your space. You are very busy and I know that. That's why times only give me the night to send you a message and say goodnight.]

Kaya kong magsulat ng ganito magulo, pero may ibig sabihin. Magulo dahil nasapawan na ng pag-iisip ng manunulat. Hindi naman kailangan pero sadyang ganun lang talaga. Hindi naman ako nambobola hindi ko ginagawang paglalaro ang kakayahan kong magsulat. Hindi ko lang talaga masabi kaya dinadaan ko na lang sa sulat.

[mandrigma nga ba talaga ng pag-ibig? bolero nga ba ako? hindi, sawi lang pero tinulungan mo akong ibaba ang lahat ng dala dala ko sa balikat ko. masaya ako dahil sa'yo, hindi ko man masabi ng diretso. sana alam mo may nagmamahal ng lubusan sa'yo.]

hahahaha! taglish, english at filipino! wahahaha nasisira na ata ang ulo ko! nakikita ba kung gaano ka confused ang utak ko? nyahaha! Ciao! mwah!

wings of angels

There are angels, according to something I've read that have ony one wing. And as such, they cannot fly, they are meant to stay on land, on earth. However these angels, even though they only have one wing found a way to fly. An angel with one wing would find find a partner, one whom could be entrusted with everything. They would then hold hands and together they would soar. An angel with one wing could not fly alone but when it found the right partner their wings would form a pair that could allow them both to fly.

People say that angels are those that protect us. Those that keep us from harm, the two winged angels that would swoop down and save us. I believe however that one winged angels exist, that these angels live amongst us. They live around us each day not knowing that they themselves are angels. They see faults and troubles in themselves but fail to see that one beautiful wing that they lend to others when they help them or when they lend a shoulder to cry on. They give their hearts and yet they do not notice how incredibly angelic their act was. To them, they themselves are only human but if they looked hard enough they might just see that they are angels.

I believe that humans are like these angels if not angels as well. Apart from the fact that one winged angels are gender specific, we as humans also need one another, no man is an island. At one point in time we all need help and we also have the capacity to help each other fly. We all have faults and things we are ashamed of but when we help each other out, we shine, we soar. We reach our dreams and move on and when finally we've found that partner as one winged angels do, we can soar just like angels.

"We are all angels with only one wing. We can only fly while embracing each other."

-Luciano de Crescenzo (italian poet)


Hmmmmm bakit ko kaya naisipang isulat to? ........ Ewan, hahahahaha! Wala lang siguro akong maisip ipost. Ciao!

Lutz=happy=weird

Yesterday I was feeling better than usual, actually I was happy. And people, well some people thought it was freaky. Two said I was weird another said it was ummmm unusual and still others did not believe me. Hahahhahaha! I guess when a person has been depressed for a long time people get accustomed to it, I know I have been for a long time and well it probably stuck to a lot of people, that I am not a happy person eventhough I smile a lot. :) Anyway I am updating my blog now because I woke up late and I missed my class, well I decided to miss my class since I was already 30 mins late. And now I'm writing, and there's so much I want to say here that I don't know where to start, not to mention if I should say anything at all. HAhahaHhahaha!

Thank you for yesterday! Alam ko medyo waste of time talking about random stuff pero masaya ako na ganun. Marami akong gusto sabihin pero hindi ko talaga makuhang sabihin. Kung kailan seryoso dun ako natatawa, sa mga dapat kong sabihin. Feeling ko cheesy, corny o nakakatawa kaya lagi na lang nauuwi sa usapang wala namang pupuntahan. Kaya paumanhin kung gaya ng iba naweirdohan ka rin sa akin. Hindi ko na kasi talaga alam kung papaano dapat gumalaw sa ganitong sitwasyon, matagal na rin kasi. Pero salamat at nakikiride ka naman, salamat sa paghihintay dahil matagal natapos ang aming class. Salamat lang talaga! :)

Lost in Your Eyes - Debbie Gibson

I get lost in your eyes
And I feel my spirits rise
And soar like the wind..
Is it love that I am in?

I get weak in a glance
Isn't this what's called romance?
...And now I know
'Cause when I'm lost I can't let go

I don't mind not knowing what I'm headed for
You can take me to the skies...
It's like being lost in heaven
When I'm lost in your eyes

I just fell, don't know why
Something's there we can't deny...
And when I first knew
Was when I first looked at you

And if I can't find my way
If salvation seems worlds away
Oh, I'll be found
When I am lost in your eyes

I don't mind not knowing what I'm headed for
You can take me to the skies...
Oh it's like being lost in heaven
When I'm lost in your eyes

I get weak in a glance
Isn't this what's called romance?
Oh, I'll be found
When I am lost in your eyes

This song has been bugging me since a few days ago. I wasn't able to find it before but I found it now. Here's the link if you want to hear it or if it's bugging you too coz it's familiar but you can't seem to rememeber it....

http://www.blueyze.com/lostinyoureyes.html

By the way this is the older version, I think there's a new one...
Ciao!

Econ long test...

Woke up today only to remember that I had a long test in econ. I spent all night watching the first season of LOST and I totally forgot about it (ang pro ko talaga). Anyway I just finished the test and I'm in ADMU's com lab. Hmmmm I really can't wait for classes to finish I have ummmm roughly around 6 hours to go. I still have not done my chinese hw, which reminds me I have to do that during the break. Hahaha I actually have a lot to do today, not that any of it matters. Somehow I feel light today and that is very rare. Hahaha so wala na akong masasabi kaya ummm list na lang....

*princess[?]... don't know you pero thanks sa advice.
*KATIPS... I will miss you, binawasan ang baon ko ng half! hahahaha!
*ann... napapadpad ka pa ba sa blog ko? msta na ang states?
*alik... $40 for dota hahahahaha worth it sobra!
*ate weh... hindi kita kialala... I think...
*phoenix... hindi rin kita kilala! hahaha!
*Lutz... tama na ang pag-iisip
*You... Wo zhe de ai ni(di ko pa rin alam ang tamang pinyin nito!) haha!

At sa lahat ng tao, Zaoshang hao!, Zao an! or Ni Zao! whatever you prefer! hahahahaha! Ciao!