Angels with clipped wings

There are as I have said before angels who have only one wing those that could soar when they've found their partner. Then they could fly hand in hand. I never said anything about those angels with clipped wings, angels who are left wandering the earth, looking for people to help but cannot fly themselves. Left to be undesirable they accept their fates but detest the fate of those who follow in their footsteps. These angels if you could call them that contest misfortunes that befall another person. They prevent at most, anything that could cause another to feel or worse become one of them. To be an angel with clipped wings is not something they would have shared because it entails pain.

Once in a while though they feel like they are as human as humans are. But then again realize they're not. These angels are far from what we see as saviors they risk their own for someone to feel again. They are tough as beasts but only so much to protect themselves. They are frail as they have nothing to hold them up when they try to soar.

Are they capable of soaring? Yes, they are. They have potential that isn't tapped because of many things but they are capable. You ask them to do things for you and in a glance they can oblige but not once have they done it for themselves? How can they not be capable when they produce more for others than what the eye can see? Because they don't find a need to.

They live alone because fate has told them to do so. They are separated because that is the life they know. But if you approach them they'd give their life to you. You want to see what they are capabe of? Then look at them not with prejudice. Look at them with eyes that inquire, not question.

All they need is to be told of importance. What it means to be important, how it feels to be important so their clipped wings don't feel as much a burden as it is.

I'm no angel but I know to feel important is something all people should get to experience. Once in a while it saves llves just knowing at one point you meant something, you were someone and you made a difference. What good is a life when it's spent with just bitterness? It might be hypocritical of me to say that but I've only been special a few times in a lifetime I've been not.

So if someone asks, answer because an answer shows a bit of attention that comes with the care. It's ok to wait but don't keep hanging...

[Confused? So am I... But I'm taking your advice... I don't know how late it is and if you'll ever notice. It might not even make a difference but at least I know what might have been. I'm sorry if still I am weird and off, like I said I'm fixing things. Sorry for pouring out things you need not worry about, they are after all my problems. When I'm done I'll ask again, maybe then you'll finally see or hear the question I've been asking for a very long time... I miss you and I love you... I hope aside from knowing that you believe it, because it's true, it probably is one of the few that are...]

~regression~

Continued depression...

After posting my thoughts last night, after an hour and thirty minutes my parents finally arrived to fetch me... They gave me a long lecture on going home early and I was thinking if that was all they were going to do I would have just commuted home... I mean waiting for almost two hours and ending up being lectured isn't exactly the thing I am looking forward to after an entire day gone wrong. So I cried myself to sleep, yes I cry... I am after all human...

Today I am here in katipunan hoping to eat out, wrong move seems I won't be going anywhere... Stupid me, mali nanaman ako... lagi naman e, mali na nga ako pinahihirapan pa ako ng buhay, kailan ba ako tatama? Anyway dito na lang ako sa katipunan prolly till 4 kung wala ako kasama well bahala na...

Sagot sa tanong "bakit sa accounting..."
Kasi nalilito ako...
Hindi ko alam kung ayaw mo o gusto...
Kapag ikaw lang, andyan sila...
Kapag andyan sila,
hindi ko malaman kung naiirita ka,
o natutuwa ka...

Pagkakamali ko naman yun e,
Wag mo nang isipin...

"Being taught to be humble when you already
are only makes you feel unworthy of anything"

Dahilan sa pagi-iisip, rason para mabigyan katuturan ang mga nagawa at ginagawa ko. Pero ang totoo mali pa rin ako. Sabihin ko man na ganyan ako nakikita ko pa rin ang mga mali ko, kaya ganyan nga ba talaga ako? Kung alam ko at nakikita ko na ang mga bagay na ipinagkakaila ko sa sarili ko. Kung nararamdaman kong hindi pero may oo ano nga ba ang dapat na sundin ko? Nawawala na ako at nasisiraan na ng ulo, pero iisa pa rin ang nasa ulo ko, mali pa rin ako...

P.S.
To wait forever for nothing can be called stupidity, I call it patience for it teaches you to wait for things you can not foretell...

Ciao!

Itadakimasu... not

I was suppossed to eat out, but for some particular reason it was cancelled. My fault, to damn sensitive... I hate it when this happens, I end up drinking without anything in my stomach and now it hurts like hell. I hate it when I look forward to something and is disappointed but in this case it is MY fault... stupid! I waited for nothing, Sigh* I just wanted to eat out, was that so hard to ask? why is destiny intent on giving me a hard time? have I done fate wrong? I miss a lot of things and I miss you more than anything and I'm not making any sense but maybe if I was given some time I would... I'm honest enough to admit everything, anything to show you...

God give me a break, at least let my tears fall down my cheeks...
You make me cry so often I don't realize I already am...

Ciao!

Accounting

I'm suppossed to be attending accouting but I'm not...
Why? because I'm scared...
Of what? The subject?
No, Something else...
What? Something no one would understand...

Hell hath no fury like the storms of the clouds. Lightning will scorch you and thunder will deafen you. The winds winds will gash you but the rain, the rain will wipe the blood away and comfort you...

So why are you scared?
Because I just am...
I am not magic, I am prone to pain...
No matter how hard my shell is...
Inside I am still too soft...

Coincidence of clouds

I am a person who loves the rain. Even when it rains I don't use an umbrella. I guess I can say I love the clouds too. Because clouds are the reason behind rain, well and sunshine too. The beautiful clouds that are ever so busy moving around the skies.

I do however hate, no dislike the way clouds tend to deceive me. She shines and then suddenly pours like she's angry at you for no apparent reason. She darkens and makes you anticipate rain when suddenly it becomes sunny. She's erratic and even more so nowadays, and I got sick because of it.

Clouds play with me like I am a toy, with no regard for me. Sometimes she just soaks me when I need to be dry, no problem, I love the rain but it causes me trouble because I need to bring stuff that aren't suppossed to get wet.

Why do the clouds have to be so hard to predict. Sometimes she smiles at you with all her graces and in a split moment she frowns and pours. Then again I guess life is just like that... I still love clouds though, and I still love rain...

Ciao!

Cooking

I've never been one to cook for myself, I've always found it extremely fullfiling to cook for other people. When I am alone however It's not something I'd want to do. I guess it has something to do with receiving compliments for cooking good food or people asking for tips or recipes. But that's just part of it. The larger part comes from seeing people love what you made, what you cooked. What will I get from cooking for myself? Will I smile and satisfy myself... no unless I really am a nut case. So why cook for myself, why exert effort for me? Is there a point to it?

Tell you what if you have an answer just post it...
I still can't find the answer...

Smiles they keep me living specially the ones from you...
Ciao!

Dido - White Flag

nu amum laeng...

more songs to listen to...

random songs

more sounds to listen to, you dont even have to download them just wait for the page to load and buffer.... of course these are just instrumentals....

Scared!?

I am scared...
I wasn't but now I am...
Scared of things
that are happening...
Scared of things
that do not occur...

What happened to me...
I've lost myself...
Lost in things
that can be explained...
Lost in things
That are inevitable...

I got into too many things...
So many that eat up my time...
Into things
that are of no value...
Into things
that I value...

I got so busy...
I forgot to breathe...
So busy
I forgot you...
So busy
I forgot I found myself in you...

That is why I am scared...
Scared of so many things I never used to...
Courage left me
and I found you...
Fate shaped me
now I'm scared of losing you...

Here's to you for reminding me that I am only human, for reminding me
I am alive. For helping me find myself in what I have lost, I thank you.
My actions sometimes depict otherwise but I love you, I don't care what
anybody says. You've been so patient with me... specially when I sat idly
with nothing to do... I still don't know how I'll show it but believe me
I love you... I'll keep on, even if there are a thousand ways failed to
prove it. I'll keep on till I find that one that makes you smile and say
"he does love me"...