Waiting...

It's been almost a week now. I miss her[you], didn't know you were going on a faraway trip. Hahahaha then again why'd she[you] need to tell me anyway. It's ok though I'm still waiting coz, well that's all I can do. Anyway about 2 or three days ago I sent her[you] something and well I thought she[you] just ignored it. Turns out she[you] didn't, that made me smile well after depressing me making me nearly cry. Hahaaha wuss! O well, I'm glad she[you] received it and that she[you] accepted it.

So she'll[you'll] be here after holy week. I'll be waiting for that, I have been for quite a while now. She's[you have] been busy for quite the longest time now and I miss her[you]. I know, I know it's only been ummm 5 days but I can't help it, I just do. I remember that last day with her[you], she was[you were] waiting for someone and I stayed with her[you] chatting small talk. That was probably nothing but I enjoyed that and well I want that. So I'm just going to be here for now, till she returns[you return] and then well let's just see what happens.

Still waiting....
Ciao!

A song for you......

My friend asked me to make a song so that he could sing it to his special someone....So I made this but as I did, it was her[you] on my mind..... I just wanted to share that thought.... here it is...

To stay by your side
By: Lutz

You’ve always been here
A friend by my side
Yet something makes you dear
Like a pearl in the tides

I have longed to speak to you
To say my lines are true
I have longed to speak to you
Yet I do so without you

I am here as always
Waiting beside you
As my heart prays
I’ll be here for you

I know I am your friend
And I will always be
On till the end
I know what I am to be

I have longed to speak my words
To say such lines that make you mine
I have longed to speak my words
Yet I do so silently divine

I am here as always
Waiting beside you
As my heart prays
I’ll be here for you

And so I tell you
My pearl of the tides
I’ll be a friend for you
To stay by your side


Ciao! miss ya! mwah!

One fine day

This day as I said is one fine day. It started out bad, I found out that my test was scheduled for another day and I went to school because of it. But it was worth it. I learned a bit on itm and best of all I found out she[you] were going to take your test today so I was happy I was going to see her[you]..... I had no reason to until she[you] told me to bring her[your] test paper, I went back home from katipunan just to have a reason to meet with her[you] and it was worth it. She didn't[you don't} know it but she[you] made my day with her[your] smile, and though I know I am far from what I know she[you]love and deserve, I smiled. Knowing it was her[you] I was with, made my day end with a smile on my face as she[you] stepped into her[your] taxi to go home. I love her[you]and that need not change. No matter what she decides[you decide] I'll still be around, I am her[your] friend first before anything else and if it's just days like this that I have to spend with you, I will. [Thank you for making me smile, i had nothing else to look forward to today :)]

Home at last...

I went to batangas 2 days ago with the blockies. It was really fun but it would've been a lot better if she was[you were] there. Anyway there were 13 of us.... I think, and we got there at around 4-5 pm. We unpacked and headed the pool then to the beach after which we went back to the pool again because the beach was not sandy... it was made up of broken corals and shells which hurt when you walk on. hahaha! But still it was fun trying to walk there without slippers, I couldn't take it so I went back to get mine. By the time we were done swimming.... I dunno if we were ever done but when most of us were not swimming anymore we sat down to eat at which time I broke out the gin and mixers which I, Bin and Mao gulped down. It was still early then so we or rather they decided to sing karaoke first before drinking the rest of the beer, cruiser and lambanog. We sang our hearts out and laughed and enjoyed. After which we drank and went up the tree house for the ritual bonding/sharing time of the block at which time everyone was suppossed to say something. So they did and we talked more then we went down to finish our drinks this is when the girls special mention Tin hahahaha drank lamabanog mixed with sprite, said it tasted like ice candy. hahahaha We had a lot of fun and when it was all over we slept or actually they forced me to share. I did vaguely that is, I wouldn't want them to know, not unless she[you] want them to. I shared until we were all sleepy in the vagueness of my story the we slept.

The next day I woke up early at around 830am after sleeping at 4-5am. I walked out of our room and drank coffee to "wake" me up. Everyone else woke up at around 9-10 at which time we had our beakfast and then proceeded to the pool. Hahahaha! We swam until we realized we had no water left to take a bath in. So we had to make do with what we had before we headed home (mineral water bath). :) After everything we headed to katipunan, we stopped over at at gas station to eat and the proceeded to katips. Where finally I was able to go home after getting my hair cut which by the way almost got me caught, and get a good rest.

By the way, she[you] texted me and asked me to bring her[your] test paper to g4. Sorry I wasn't able to do so, we got back late at around 5 so I had to hurry home or else I would've gotten caught. I really wanted to go, sorry I wasn't able to.... I'll just bring it some other time..... Ciao!

My very useless day

Today I went to school to attend zero classes! Thanks for not reminding me it was free cut the whole day! On the up side however I was able to see her[you] even for just a while and return her[your] o so precious flash drive, hahahahaha kidding! Anway I did that and ummm helped someone out with his ummmm delivery problem. hehe :) After that I went to LC to leave him to his duties.... And now I am here updating my blog and I don't know what else to write the highlight of my day was when I saw her[you] smile and laugh at my butterfly bag telling me to change it. hehe :) Sigh* shouldn't have left so quick.... then again she[you] had classes. This is depressing me! hahaha but I don't want to think about it, the other night I was treading deadly waters with my thoughts again and well I don't want to go there. All I want is to stay happy the way I am when I see her[you] smile, and that's what I'm trying to do........ Still I do get depressed specially when I start thinking of things that are a tad too much on the paranoid side. When you don't reply or tell me you're busy and it keeps happening I start thinking maybe you don't want to reply, maybe you don't want to go and it makes me think again even when I don't want to. And it goes on until the next time I see you smile then I say to myself it's fine, she's[you are] happy.

It's things like these that make me wish people could just say what's on their mind so I don't have to guess and guess about so many things. I know I can be like that but I just wish people weren't, so I don't have to be. I love her[you], so even if she decides[you decide] she doesn't[you don't] like me. I'd step back, that doesn't mean I don't love her[you] it simply means I give her[you] what she wants [you want] and that's the truth. Ciao!

I'm tired but its ok

I just finished 5 pages of fil paper. Hahaha and my head hurts. It doesn't matter though I feel strangely light. Hahaha, must have something to do with the people I was chatting with.... her[you]. Why won't she[you] tell me what food she[you] like? I'm having a hard time figuring this out but hell it's fine with me. :) I was suppossed to end this with a depressing poem again but ummm maybe next time my night is quite good for now.... hahaha! Hmmm well I'm tired so I'll end this one rather quickly besides I want to go home already, she[you] are already offline anyway. :) So to all those reading have a wonderful night! Goodnight and Sweetdreams! Ciao!

something to write about

Hmmm what do i have to write about tonight? ......
nothing actually,I don't really want to think much about what's
happening lately. That is simply because, I THINK TOO MUCH. Nevermind
that I seem to be the dumbass that sits beside some smart person in
school, I have a lot of things on my mind actually too much for me to handle.
which is probably why I'm srewing up big time. Doesn't seem to matter much though
well at least not until a few weeks ago.... nevermind that. That will make me think again, I'll reserve that for some other time. HahahAhahaHAhaHa! Anyway today, I sucked at another math LT, like that needs to be mentioned, hahaha and ummm I watched a fairly good play by some of my blockies. Other than that..... ummm wait I actually sent a rose again hahahaha don't really know where that will get me though hahahaha! hope she [you] even "consider" me. hahahhaahaha but if not that's fine I love her [you] just the same anyway. And now, since I haven't made a poem recently I'll post lyrics to a song that I've taken a shine to....

Have I told you
by: Rod Stewart

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

For the morning sun and all its glory
Meets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter, somehow you make it better
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

There's a love that's defined
And it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray to the one, to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

There's a love that's defined And it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray to the one, to the one

And have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do
Take away all my sadness, fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do
Take away all my sadness, fill my life with gladness
Ease my troubles, that's what you do

Ciao!

no more? yea right!

One more entry on poetry, why does it feel so cold in the middle of a scorching day?

"I'm Sorry"

I'm saying sorry to you
for the things I don't do
saying sorry to you
If i've got nothing, to you

Sorry if I don't make you smile
more than once in a while
Sorry I'm not your style
I can't even walk your mile

So sorry if I said I love you
when you didn't want me to
Sorry it was me, I told you
when it was someone else you wanted to

Sorry I had to tell you
I didn't know what to do
Sorry I love you
so much, so true

Maybe that's why. Well what's done is done and can't be undone. Life goes on and on for I wonder how long. I'll be glad anyway just to see you smile. Ciao! oh and just so you know, I do still love you.......

boring day

Nothing much happened today, except that I saw so many sweet people while walking around. People in the classroom, people in the walkway at sec, people at the caf... people everywhere. Everyone seems to be in love including me.... but I am a weak link and thus is excluded from this list. In line with that I'd like to share a few lines from the lyrics of songs I've been listening to lately......

have I told you lately that I love you ...

panalangin ko sa habang buhay ...

nakakainggit tl ang sweet nila ng kaniyang nobyo ...

and lastly

tumatakbo ang oras naiiwanan na ako ng panahon ...

These are from different songs that I've been listening to over and over again, just wanted to share. God why am I such a LOSER? Ciao!

Not again

Why is it so hard to say how you feel? It's so easy to joke around and say things like I'm in love with you but when it really counts and when you really mean it, you stutter and a whole lot of dumb comes out of your mouth.

I met her [you] a while ago and I was like I said suppossed to tell her [you] how I felt.... surprise, surprise! I wasn't able to do it. Why? because she [you] were with your friend and I was too much of a wuss to say it in front of her. Why do I torment myself with these things, I just want her [you] to know how much I feel for her [you].

So what did I do? I walked with you and walked and walked and we talked a bit. Until we got to where we were supossed to go and well that was it. I wanted to hold your hand back then but I was afraid to.... WUSS! There were so many things I wanted to tell you but I was afraid your friend might hear.... So I just kept walking waiting for an opportunity but I wasn't given one.... your friend received a call and we had to go back so you could do your paper...... sigh*

Anyway if you're reading this ummm I know what you were saying a while ago.... I'm not a complete idiot. Ni ai wo? I know, I know of course I know coz it's true... Wo ai ni, je taime or whatever the hell language you want to use... it's true I just can't find the right time and place to say those words to you...... but I hope I do before everything ends up too late..... Ciao!

Stupid move

Yesterday I was supossed to talk to someone but I went home early coz I had to. Actually that day I didn't go to any of my classes. I was supposed to go to one but it was a free cut for that subject... hahaha! waste of time! .... not actually I had lunch with her and that made the day worth while still I wonder if she knows how I feel already.... I mean I did say it was me who gave her flowers but thats just it they're just flowers nothing more well I want them to be more... Shit shouldn't have gone home early even though my parents warned me not to stay out late again like the other night. I really had to go home early, still it felt like shit! I did not want to go home because I had something to tell her and I've been psyching myself up for it for about a week already.... only for it to be postponed to.... well today..... Shouldn't have stayed up the other night. This would have been done by now.... Now I feel like my head's about to explode and I'm getting the feeling I shouldn't push through.... Still I have to, I want to, that way she knows, and I'm honest about how I feel. Damn! I'm depressing myself again..... oh well I'm gonna see her later anyway, actually that's the only thing I'm going to do today.... hope she understands what I'm going to say.... Ciao!

My friend

I made this for you but ummm I think I'm not qualified to say such things just yet. Still I think I mean every word.... no, I mean every word. I guess I just can't say these things just yet so I'll just leave them here for now........

Read this and know that I love you,
then you can't ever say I never told you.
But then what would be the point?
I know I'm not worth your time,
but realize you're worth all of mine.
So what would be the point?
I don't know if I should tell you
or if ever I could tell you.
The point is I've fallen and I'm afraid,
afraid because I'm not good enough,
not even nearly enough.
But I want you to know how I feel.
So know this, as I say I love you,
believe that it's you
and I will never let you fall,
nor slip,
nor cry,
without ever having me to hang on to.
It's all I can do.
I will always be here for you,
through and through ...
I love you ...

hmmmm sorry I just stood there doing nothing.... I could've done something. Be sweet or at least have said something.... but no... I had to just stand there and be silent stupid move.....
Anyway I hope you know it's me by now and hope you know it's you that I'm talking about.... Ciao!