"Appeals"

Well it's official now. I have to make letters of appeal because I did not meet the required qpi for this year. This really sucks because one, everything has been sucky lately and two she has[you have] not replied to any of my messages. I know, I might be paranoid, I know I just might be thinking too much but it would be nice to hear from her[you]. I don't know if I'll make it through this year, it's an appeal so there's a chance it won't be accepted. This bothers me not because it plain sucks but because well I won't have a chance to tell her[you] what I've wanted to, since the start of second sem. Another thing is that, well my enrollment for summer is on the 17th and deliberations are on the 18th so what does that mean? If my deliberations don't go well(I hope it does though) then what did I enroll summer for? It defeats the purpose of me taking up summer. Sigh* here I go again thinking too much.

[For her(you)]
You know, this wouldn't have been a problem weeks even months back. I was carefree, I didn't care and I just lived because I wanted to. You changed all that, you made me care, you made me want to be more, you made me think about what is to be....... THANK YOU. I don't know why you haven't been talking to me, replying to my messages but please, if you somehow stumble upon this I want you to know I love you. I might not be around next year so I want to tell you now. I'll call you later and I'll tell you, so please just listen and understand what I have to say. I'm sorry.... I really am but I need you to at least talk to me so that even if I don't make it I'd be glad because I met you, you changed me and I am thankful for that. I don't want to go on loose ends with you so please talk to me... please...

On another note I hope this doesn't happen I want so much to go on. I've been talking a lot about leaving already but the truth is I don't want to. And it pains me to go through this. I wish I hadn't screwed things up. I wish they'd give me another chance.....

If things don't work out this will probably be my last post here....
Ciao!