~Love as a decision~

I remember talking about love with someone. I was told that it was not a feeling but a decision. And I disagreed with all my heart because if love was indeed a decision then you can turn it on and of as easy as you flick a light switch. All you'd have to do is decide. I said love was a feeling, not a feeling that comes and you just say you are in love but a feeling that allows you to be. A feeling that allows you to act for someone, not always for the better but always with an intention meant for the good.

Of course now I know I wasn't completely right. Now I know that sometimes love becomes a decison for so many reasons. However I do know of one. Love becomes a decision at the loss of the feeling. People say that feelings fade without constance. If you love yet you do not show it or if you are in love yet not one of you show it then sooner or later it fades and at times it will disappear. Just like normal things you do if you don't practice them, sooner or later you forget. This is where the decision comes in, allow love to remain a feeling and let it slip away or turn it into a decision. Choose the latter and you make love dormant but it won't slip away. It's just there, you decide that you really love and thus will not allow certain events to hinder that love. It becomes a decision, that you love even when all else turns against you. Why? because you hope that sometime in the future that love will be noticed and that feeling that remained dormant will be awakened.

Of course there is no assurance that it will be noticed and awakened but then does it really matter? You already made a decision. So you stand by it, love then becomes just a decision.

It may be confusing because I am narating it. But If you come across a time when you doubt feelings remember these words and see for yourself will you make a decision or allow it to just fade?

[so is stand here decisions made and i know not what will be. i am apprehensive of feelings i am to feel when everything starts to move again. i've made my world stop when everyone elses kept moving, so i was left behind]

~I am so sorry~
~I wish I was more~